TinyPants

The maples have just about shed all their yellow spawn, so I’m finally able to enjoy spring. Everything is still fresh and green with splashes of vibrant pinks, whites and purples. It’s the kind of weather where I long for a garden with peonies, ranunculuses, lilacs, flowering almonds, crabapples, cherries, roses, ivy, gerber daisies, and some wild looking weedy things. No room for grass, Addie, sorry. You’re going to have to learn to pee on pebbles or something. A wild garden. A secret garden.

It’s the kind of weather where you just feel like visiting all the local shops for fresh baked goods and produce. You walk more; you jog more. You feel like cleaning, consolidating, organizing. It feels like that part in the Wes Anderson film where everyone has some sort of change of heart. Oh yes, it’s that Oh Yoko time of year. Forget Sexy Back–it’s Oh Yoko blaring that gets me through the tough hills.

I have not started my burger journey yet, only because it is spring and I’m feeling like being healthy. I was quite excited today when I thought I finally ended my hunt for the perfect granola. It must be nut free. Short list, right? You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard? Guess again. I’d say about 95% of all the granolas and mueslix out there contain nuts. Almonds, hazlenuts, walnuts, peanuts—I have no idea why you non-allergic people are so obsessed with nuts. Eat a raisin once in a while! Ever heard of oatmeal? It’s crunchy! In Europe they look at you as if your head is growing out of your ass when you ask if a muesli has nuts because the nut mueslix are in the minority. At Dominion they have a berry granola that may contain traces, which, normally, I’m fine with because I’m not as careful as I should be, but I’ve actually found large chunks of almonds in one box, so now I avoid it.

Which brings me to this: Enjoy Life Granola.

Eat freely? That’s a laugh. It should be renamed Enjoy This-fruity-cardboard-we-shaped-into granola-like- pieces-18-times-the-normal-size-before-shoving-it-into-a-box-18-times-too-big-so-you- don’t-feel-like-you’re-being-ripped-off-until-you-get-home Granola.

What the hell is this? Tumour granola? How am I supposed to chew this? Very Berry Crunch, indeed.

Well, I guess I can rest easy knowing that this cereal doesn’t contain 10 of the most common allergens, such as shellfish. Thank goodness! No shrimp in this granola!

You know what, guys? You can take your crunchier taste and shove it. This is the worst food I’ve ever eaten. I have TMJ, people, I can’t chew these chunks! Maybe you should put some gluten in. That might help. Hugs and kisses, Allie.

A few things that have been happening around here:

Today:

The bi-law officers have started a crackdown on off-leash dogs in the on-leash area of Sherwood Park after a blind woman’s service dog got attacked. FINALLY! I’ve been going hoarse all winter and spring yelling at people and their dogs who charge Addie as she and I are walking or running past. While it’s true that I could rename this blog Pignolo*, I’m quite decent and don’t yell at any random dog that’s off leash when they should be on leash. If your dog is well behaved enough to stay away from me and my dog, I leave you alone. But when I can see before you can that your dog is stalking my dog, you say nothing, and then he charges, oh you better believe I’m saying something. It’s most often just a polite, though annoyed, “Your dog is supposed to be on leash here.” If you come back with some lame excuse like, “They’re just dogs” or “My dog’s friendly” or if you argue with me that in fact this area of the park is off-leash when you’re standing under a sign that says Please keep your dog on leash, I’ll get a bit nastier, and you might get a ” How do you know mine’s friendly**?” or “Well my dog is not okay.” If your dog has charged my dog, made her yelp with fear and your dog has tripped me and made me change my stride you will get some sort of expletive.

* A law-abiding citizen who finds virtue in their suffering and evil in the most minor transgressions of others.

** For the record, Addie is friendly, she just gets nervous when dogs (especially boys) sniff her bum while she’s clipped on leash or in her halti. If she is on her extendable leash and feels like she has some place to go, she’s fine.

Last week:

Birthday extravaganzas. Hubby and Calla share a birthday–May 1st. We had a few milestones this year–Calla turned 25 and Hubby turned the big, dreaded 30. I don’t think he went through any kind of crisis, but I did keep a steady flow of chocolate and other treats in the house to help with the transition.

We also went out for dinner.

Calla and I went out for breakfast (our favourite meal of the day). She took some amazing shots of yours truly with her amazing D3. drooool. I now get to shoot with her D200. droool.

(^ Not a D3.)

My best Scaredy Squirrel smile.

Just so you don’t think I’m completely vain, here’s a picture of hubby. Also by Ms. Evans.

We tried to be very Canadian and have gelato on a cold day. Apparently the Italians are not as much into eating ice cream on cold days as we are.

So we forced Nathan to go to Demetres. Again. Still. Whatever.

Last month:

I started an Introduction to Industrial Sewing class. I’ve never been formally trained in the things that I can do, so I’m hoping this course (and the ones I will take later) will help me be more efficient and more confident in my skills as a costume designer. It’s been going well.

What it’s like living with a coonhound:

(Calla: Your dog is a freak of nature.)

Addie plays this game with herself where she stands in the sun so the light catches her tag, which she then tries to bite and chase. She has no idea she’s the one making the mysterious “ghost” appear, but she’s damn well gonna make sure it’s having a rough time existing as long as she’s around. It’s hard to get a shot of. I really need video.

(^ I actually managed to catch the light on the couch!)

(^ Under the dog photography.)

Sometimes she does it for so long she forgets it’s dinnertime. Other times she moves on to commenting on mummy’s housekeeping skills by biting at dust in the air.

Up next:

• TinyPants takes on the challenge of finding The Perfect New York Burger in Toronto while keeping her waist size the same.